Hurt

To anyone that I have hurt over the years ~ please accept my sincerest apologies.
My intentions have always been honourable and well meant, and I like to think that my kind nature, understanding and care towards others has always been appreciated.
Right now, dealing with the silence is the hardest thing to do...but I must remain patient.

I hurt myself today to see if I still feel, I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real.
The needle tears a hole, the old familar sting, try to kill it all away but I remember everything.

Everyman has his breaking point.
Two years ago I reached mine, yet fortunately I survived to tell the tale.
Once again I'm riddled with self-doubt, and feeling a sense of loss.
Maybe I'm just speaking from the heart and not from the head?

What have I become my sweetest friend, everyone I know goes away in the end.
And you could have it all, my empire of dirt, I will let you down, I will make you hurt.

I've never possessed much in life in terms of materialistic possessions or wealth.
Yet I would always give whatever I had.
Poor in life, rich in love...that's me!
But I guess a big heart and a kind soul isn't enough in this world that we live in?

I wear this crown of thorns upon my liar's chair, full of broken thoughts I cannot repair.
Beneath the stains of time the feelings disappear, you are someone else I am still right here.

Over time certain feelings may well fade with regards to past loved ones.
But my heart forever mourns and remembers.
They may well have moved on with their lives, whilst I remain here with my thoughts and memories.
I've been here before, and no doubt I'll be here again...and life goes on.

If I could start again a million miles away.
I would keep myself, I would find a way.

I have started again numerous times before.
I have moved away to strange places more times than I care to remember.
For the time being I'm going to keep myself to myself, and go 'off-the-grid' for a while.
Until next time ~ take care & be safe xx

Ramblin' Steve ~ with a bit of help from Nine Inch Nails & Johnny Cash.