A Better Me...Or Wishful Thinking?

"The greatest blessing that we have is the dawn of each new day,
 A chance to finish what we started, and made a mess of yesterday..."

Believe me, I've made a mess of a lot of things in my life...but haven't we all?
But it's important not to dwell on things too much, and to always try to move on.
A majority of my mistakes may well have involved a woman somewhere along the line, but I ain't complaining...because I had plenty of fun along the way too! Either that, or maybe an error in judgement in my trust towards certain people...but once again, I won't complain ~ you just have to put it down to experience and hope that you learn from it.

"I'm learning to live without you now, but I miss you sometimes,
 The more I know the less I understand,
 All the things that I thought I knew I'm learning again..."

The purpose of this blog is to emphasis my need to become a better person. I like to think I have a kind soul with a big heart; who can be generous to a fault sometimes; who can give too much on occassion; who regularly cares too much when maybe I shouldn't...yet I know it's not enough and that I can be even better.
I believe in Karma, and the 'what goes-around-comes-around' theory, but I know I have made some pretty poor choices in my life, so I'm forever striving to improve and become a better man.

"Poor in Life; Rich in Love..."

Organised religion has never sat comfortably with me, but Buddhism incorporating Karma teaches that salvation comes through ones self, and not belief in faraway and nebulous gods. It's more a way of conducting yourself and living your life right. Essentially, you are in control of your own destiny and happiness...and this is what makes me want to improve as a person. The recent charity work for Cancer Research UK helped me greatly, by attempting to put something back and helping others, but I can't think that my work is done...there's more to come from me yet.

"I want to be someone who someone would want to be..."

Part of this personal improvement requires me to clean up my act by cutting out the boozing, by eating more healthily, by maintaining some form of regular exercise, and by retaining a self-disciplined way of life.
This doesn't mean that I'm going to become a monk ~ I'm still going to enjoy a Friday night pint with the lads after work for instance,...but it's just a case of doing things in moderation and not to excess. In addition, it has to be recognised that I'm not getting any younger...I'll 45 in a few months time, so it's important to try to implement these lifestyle changes now.

This newly instilled disciplined approach also becomes very important with regards to my saving for my new home. After nearly four years being reliant on the kindness of others, I will shortly be in a position financially, emotionally, and spiritually, where I can regain my independence and hopefully live a happy life. I am determined to break the habit of scratching around during the final week before payday to make ends meet.
I intend to live within my means, to live within a workable budget, and to set aside the neccesary funds so that maybe, just maybe, by the time late October comes around I can find myself a little place that I can call my own...and with it hopefully I'll find some inner peace which I have been continually seeking.

Who knows, maybe it's a case of life begins at 45...?

Ramblin' Steve