Wednesday, June 27, 2012
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel
"the wrong side of a lifetime's wishful thinking,
drove me here to pills and ale,
come and listen, come and listen to my tale..."
Whilst I'm awaiting hopeful confirmation of the news that I've been successful in securing the lease on that lovely flat in Summersdale, Chichester (pictured), I've found myself taking stock on events over the past four years ~ the period covered since I previously lived in a place on my own..
I can honestly say that I haven't felt so excited about something for such a very long time...probably not since I toured New Zealand's South Island in a campervan and met the lovely TWL!
But at the same time...until I receive definite news I'm trying to keep a lid on my excitement and not take anything for granted. This is why I also find myself trying to keep busy and not think too much about the apartment, and why I've returned to writing my blogs far more regularly than I had originally intended.
It's been a troublesome four years, with many ups and downs...but I've lived to tell the tale I'm pleased to say despite all of these trials and tribulations. During this rather fraught period I have lived through the following, which I believe are in chronological order...although at my age I am prone to suffer the occassional temporary memory loss which may also include glossing over certain events:
*I lived my life-long dream by finally visiting the wonderful New Zealand.
*I gave up a luxurious apartment in Cheltenham and relocated to Berkshire to live with a friend.
*I was threatened with court action over a long-protracted dispute with my bank.
*I returned to New Zealand for a second time, and I also met the aforementioned TWL.
*I met a lovely lady back in Berkshire who I thought would give me a happy future.
*I was forced out of my friend's home once I had served my purposes, as I was no longer required.
*I lost the plot, went AWOL in Scotland and ended up in Edinburgh Infirmary after a bad experience involving an ill-advised cocktail of alcohol and sleeping pills.
*I lost my job, my home...everything, and had to start from scratch with absolutely nothing to my name.
*I was nursed back to full health under the watchful care of some fantastic people.
*I returned to my hometown and became re-united with my family.
*I became officially unemployed for the first time ever in my life.
*I was lucky to have such a great friend as Elona, who helped me regain all my identification papers.
*I dug in my heels, refusing to give in to the bank, and referred the matter to The Financial Ombudsman.
*I found a job and a temporary place to live, as I began to pick up the pieces of my life.
*I made some great new friends with my work colleagues, and re-invented a social life.
*I moved into a flat share with my dear friends Josie & Glen.
*I became seriously ill with internal scarring in my chest, throat and stomach, requiring a biopsy.
*I was shocked to hear that my girlfriend had contracted terminal cancer.
*I learned that my friend had tragically commited suicide, and despite all that had happened and how I'd been treated by her, I found myself feeling terribly guilty as if maybe I could have done something to help.
*I was told by my girlfriend to live the rest of my life without her...I initially refused of course!
*I successfully arranged a repayment plan to sort out my debts and reconcile the dispute with my bank.
*I reluctantly respected my girlfriend's wishes and said my goodbye's with a broken heart.
*I revisited my old home in Bath, and shared some very precious memories with someone special.
*I admitted defeat in my plans to return to NZ for a third time...but one day it'll happen!
*I organised a charity campaign to raise funds for Cancer Research UK in recognition of my now ex-girlfriend, by walking the entire length of The South Downs Way, and with it found some form of personal redemption, and finally...
*I suprisingly stumbled upon an affordable, yet luxurious batchelor's pad which fingers crossed will be my home for many years to come?
And that's just a brief summary of all the ups and downs these past four years.
There are many other experiences that have shaped the life and times of this 'Ramblin' Man' during this period which I have failed to mention, but wouldn't want to bore you with...let's just say that I believe I've finally layed some ghosts to rest!
But two things become apparant when reviewing these experiences however...women, and how alcohol effects my outlook on life, which is why I've decided upon two consequential decisions:
1. I intend to remain an eligible batchelor - women, romance & me just don't mix.
2. I intend to minimise my alcohol intake - ale, spirits & me also don't mix.
Whether or not I'm succesful in achieving these two aims remains to be seen, but I have previously stated my intention of becoming a better person, so hopefully these changes will help.
In the meantime I will continue to strive to be a good man, with a kind soul, a big heart, an upbeat spirit, and a humble character.
When I wrote my earlier blog, 'A Better Me...Or Wishful Thinking?' I received three lovely supportive comments from Trace, Jane, and the TWL ~ at least this proves I'm on the right track, so a big thanks goes to these three in particular, as well as all my other wonderful friends, family and blogger readers♥
After all the various setbacks encountered along the way, at least it now looks like my four year journey may end on a positive note, as I hope to rediscover my independence and find some inner peace.
My struggle with finding a happy balance between a complex state of mind and a simplistic way of life may well continue, but I strongly believe that the light is at the end of the tunnel.
"I have seen this face a thousand times, every morning of my life,
but I never saw these eyes so clear, free of doubt and pain,
like the whole world has been made again.
I have been here many times before in a life I used to live..."
PS ~ stay strong & positive, Kasia...be happy & enjoy life♥
Ramblin' Steve
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Keepers Wood For Keeps?
"I started out with nothin'...and I've still got most of it left" ~ Seasick Steve
This latest blog draws certain elements together from my two most recent postings, as well as sharing some happy personal news :)
In trying to improve myself and living a healthier lifestyle ('A Better Me...Or Wishful Thinking?'), and in my persuit of a place to call my own ('Batch To The Future'), it appears that I may have already found myself a new home.
This is all subject to the receipt of good references, and this also means that to achieve the neccesary savings required, I must live life like a monk for the next two months!
I was originally looking to move during late October, but an opportunity came along which was too good to pass up. It's all been a bit of a whirlwind experience to tell you the truth ~ I found out about the availablilty of a property last Friday afternoon, enquired about it on Monday morning, viewed it that very same evening, and was then contacted by the owner on Wednesday afternoon saying that they thought I'd be an ideal tenant and they'd speak to me to confirm everything once they return from their holiday abroad!
So barring any late hitches I hope to be relocated on Monday August 20th ~ many thanks to Josie & Glen for allowing to move out of my current place early.
The flat in question (please see photo attached to this blog), suits me perfectly and reminds me of the pad I rented in Batheaston to a certain extent...if I enjoy half as much pleasure here as I did back there, then I'll be a very happy man indeed!
Situated in a quiet and private cul-de-sac called Keepers Wood in Summersdale on the outskirts of Chichester, the flat specifications are as follows:
*Bright and spacious newly decorated one bedroom furnished self contained annexe.
*A fully fitted open plan kitchen/living room with wood floor throughout and marble worktops.
*Lounge area with double height ceilings and Juliette balcony looking over gardens.
*A bathroom with a large shower cubicle and heated towel rail.
*Small decked private enclosed patio garden.
*Inclusive of all utilities and electrical appliances.
As part of the 'Better Me' philosophy I wanted to undertake a healthier regime, but with the need to save for an initial security deposit of paramount importance, I now have to stick to a strict budget which will also impact on me in other ways. For instance, to help save money ther will be no regular Costa Latte's for a while, and the Friday beers with the lads will have to be temporarily put on hold after tonight, but the sacrifice will definitely be worth it...hey TWL, it looks like I'm going to be off the giggle juice too! Lol.
However, I do have a day out at Goodwood Races to look forward to in early August with the Curphmeister & gang, as well as travelling up to Theale to see my great friend Elona the week after next, for a catch up and chat over a superb pub lunch.
But other than these treats the belt is being tightened, and the self-disciplined restraint is having to kick in.
My 'Mr.Minimalstic' instincts remain intact, as once again like in my previous move, my dear friend Giverny will no doubt be helping me transfer my belongings...last time all my gear squeezed into the boot of her little VW lovingly called 'Peanut' ~ this time all my possessions will fit inside with room to spare!
All that now remains is confirmation from the owners that my references are accepted, and all my paperwork is in order...and then fingers crossed my Keepers Wood flat will be for keeps?
Hopefully, I'll be able to confirm all this next time ~ until then, be safe & take care xx
Ramblin' Steve
This latest blog draws certain elements together from my two most recent postings, as well as sharing some happy personal news :)
In trying to improve myself and living a healthier lifestyle ('A Better Me...Or Wishful Thinking?'), and in my persuit of a place to call my own ('Batch To The Future'), it appears that I may have already found myself a new home.
This is all subject to the receipt of good references, and this also means that to achieve the neccesary savings required, I must live life like a monk for the next two months!
I was originally looking to move during late October, but an opportunity came along which was too good to pass up. It's all been a bit of a whirlwind experience to tell you the truth ~ I found out about the availablilty of a property last Friday afternoon, enquired about it on Monday morning, viewed it that very same evening, and was then contacted by the owner on Wednesday afternoon saying that they thought I'd be an ideal tenant and they'd speak to me to confirm everything once they return from their holiday abroad!
So barring any late hitches I hope to be relocated on Monday August 20th ~ many thanks to Josie & Glen for allowing to move out of my current place early.
The flat in question (please see photo attached to this blog), suits me perfectly and reminds me of the pad I rented in Batheaston to a certain extent...if I enjoy half as much pleasure here as I did back there, then I'll be a very happy man indeed!
Situated in a quiet and private cul-de-sac called Keepers Wood in Summersdale on the outskirts of Chichester, the flat specifications are as follows:
*Bright and spacious newly decorated one bedroom furnished self contained annexe.
*A fully fitted open plan kitchen/living room with wood floor throughout and marble worktops.
*Lounge area with double height ceilings and Juliette balcony looking over gardens.
*A bathroom with a large shower cubicle and heated towel rail.
*Small decked private enclosed patio garden.
*Inclusive of all utilities and electrical appliances.
As part of the 'Better Me' philosophy I wanted to undertake a healthier regime, but with the need to save for an initial security deposit of paramount importance, I now have to stick to a strict budget which will also impact on me in other ways. For instance, to help save money ther will be no regular Costa Latte's for a while, and the Friday beers with the lads will have to be temporarily put on hold after tonight, but the sacrifice will definitely be worth it...hey TWL, it looks like I'm going to be off the giggle juice too! Lol.
However, I do have a day out at Goodwood Races to look forward to in early August with the Curphmeister & gang, as well as travelling up to Theale to see my great friend Elona the week after next, for a catch up and chat over a superb pub lunch.
But other than these treats the belt is being tightened, and the self-disciplined restraint is having to kick in.
My 'Mr.Minimalstic' instincts remain intact, as once again like in my previous move, my dear friend Giverny will no doubt be helping me transfer my belongings...last time all my gear squeezed into the boot of her little VW lovingly called 'Peanut' ~ this time all my possessions will fit inside with room to spare!
All that now remains is confirmation from the owners that my references are accepted, and all my paperwork is in order...and then fingers crossed my Keepers Wood flat will be for keeps?
Hopefully, I'll be able to confirm all this next time ~ until then, be safe & take care xx
Ramblin' Steve
Thursday, June 14, 2012
A Better Me...Or Wishful Thinking?
"The greatest blessing that we have is the dawn of each new day,
A chance to finish what we started, and made a mess of yesterday..."
Believe me, I've made a mess of a lot of things in my life...but haven't we all?
But it's important not to dwell on things too much, and to always try to move on.
A majority of my mistakes may well have involved a woman somewhere along the line, but I ain't complaining...because I had plenty of fun along the way too! Either that, or maybe an error in judgement in my trust towards certain people...but once again, I won't complain ~ you just have to put it down to experience and hope that you learn from it.
"I'm learning to live without you now, but I miss you sometimes,
The more I know the less I understand,
All the things that I thought I knew I'm learning again..."
The purpose of this blog is to emphasis my need to become a better person. I like to think I have a kind soul with a big heart; who can be generous to a fault sometimes; who can give too much on occassion; who regularly cares too much when maybe I shouldn't...yet I know it's not enough and that I can be even better.
I believe in Karma, and the 'what goes-around-comes-around' theory, but I know I have made some pretty poor choices in my life, so I'm forever striving to improve and become a better man.
"Poor in Life; Rich in Love..."
Organised religion has never sat comfortably with me, but Buddhism incorporating Karma teaches that salvation comes through ones self, and not belief in faraway and nebulous gods. It's more a way of conducting yourself and living your life right. Essentially, you are in control of your own destiny and happiness...and this is what makes me want to improve as a person. The recent charity work for Cancer Research UK helped me greatly, by attempting to put something back and helping others, but I can't think that my work is done...there's more to come from me yet.
"I want to be someone who someone would want to be..."
Part of this personal improvement requires me to clean up my act by cutting out the boozing, by eating more healthily, by maintaining some form of regular exercise, and by retaining a self-disciplined way of life.
This doesn't mean that I'm going to become a monk ~ I'm still going to enjoy a Friday night pint with the lads after work for instance,...but it's just a case of doing things in moderation and not to excess. In addition, it has to be recognised that I'm not getting any younger...I'll 45 in a few months time, so it's important to try to implement these lifestyle changes now.
This newly instilled disciplined approach also becomes very important with regards to my saving for my new home. After nearly four years being reliant on the kindness of others, I will shortly be in a position financially, emotionally, and spiritually, where I can regain my independence and hopefully live a happy life. I am determined to break the habit of scratching around during the final week before payday to make ends meet.
I intend to live within my means, to live within a workable budget, and to set aside the neccesary funds so that maybe, just maybe, by the time late October comes around I can find myself a little place that I can call my own...and with it hopefully I'll find some inner peace which I have been continually seeking.
Who knows, maybe it's a case of life begins at 45...?
Ramblin' Steve
A chance to finish what we started, and made a mess of yesterday..."
Believe me, I've made a mess of a lot of things in my life...but haven't we all?
But it's important not to dwell on things too much, and to always try to move on.
A majority of my mistakes may well have involved a woman somewhere along the line, but I ain't complaining...because I had plenty of fun along the way too! Either that, or maybe an error in judgement in my trust towards certain people...but once again, I won't complain ~ you just have to put it down to experience and hope that you learn from it.
"I'm learning to live without you now, but I miss you sometimes,
The more I know the less I understand,
All the things that I thought I knew I'm learning again..."
The purpose of this blog is to emphasis my need to become a better person. I like to think I have a kind soul with a big heart; who can be generous to a fault sometimes; who can give too much on occassion; who regularly cares too much when maybe I shouldn't...yet I know it's not enough and that I can be even better.
I believe in Karma, and the 'what goes-around-comes-around' theory, but I know I have made some pretty poor choices in my life, so I'm forever striving to improve and become a better man.
"Poor in Life; Rich in Love..."
Organised religion has never sat comfortably with me, but Buddhism incorporating Karma teaches that salvation comes through ones self, and not belief in faraway and nebulous gods. It's more a way of conducting yourself and living your life right. Essentially, you are in control of your own destiny and happiness...and this is what makes me want to improve as a person. The recent charity work for Cancer Research UK helped me greatly, by attempting to put something back and helping others, but I can't think that my work is done...there's more to come from me yet.
"I want to be someone who someone would want to be..."
Part of this personal improvement requires me to clean up my act by cutting out the boozing, by eating more healthily, by maintaining some form of regular exercise, and by retaining a self-disciplined way of life.
This doesn't mean that I'm going to become a monk ~ I'm still going to enjoy a Friday night pint with the lads after work for instance,...but it's just a case of doing things in moderation and not to excess. In addition, it has to be recognised that I'm not getting any younger...I'll 45 in a few months time, so it's important to try to implement these lifestyle changes now.
This newly instilled disciplined approach also becomes very important with regards to my saving for my new home. After nearly four years being reliant on the kindness of others, I will shortly be in a position financially, emotionally, and spiritually, where I can regain my independence and hopefully live a happy life. I am determined to break the habit of scratching around during the final week before payday to make ends meet.
I intend to live within my means, to live within a workable budget, and to set aside the neccesary funds so that maybe, just maybe, by the time late October comes around I can find myself a little place that I can call my own...and with it hopefully I'll find some inner peace which I have been continually seeking.
Who knows, maybe it's a case of life begins at 45...?
Ramblin' Steve
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Batch To The Future
"Not all those who wander are lost..."
When my good friend, Elona encouraged me to return to writing a few years ago, I wrote a whole series of blogs under the generic title, 'A Spiritual Journey To Find A Home' (please see the link below), which described my ongoing and continual search to find a place where I could finally settle down.
http://aspiritualjourneytofindahome.blogspot.com/
The whole essence of these blogs was that I just couldn't stay anywhere for long...three years appeared to be my maximum tenure anywhere. Well, although I'll never write anything off and I'll always accept that anything could happen in the future to make me consider my options, I do feel very comfortable living and working in Chichester, but it's just that I need my own space again.
"Home is where the heart lies, but if the heart lies where is home...?"
For the past 20 months I have been happily sharing a flat with the lovely Josie & Glen, but last night after much soul-searching I informed them that I would finally be moving on in a few months time. As previously mentioned, my New Zealand holiday plans for October have not come to fruition, so my alternative is to use those two weeks to secure a new home, and move into my own brand new place!
Once again...I'm sorry for letting you down, TWL♥
The last time I actually lived in my own place was December 2008, when I failed to renew my tenancy agreement on a luxury apartment that I was renting in Cheltenham, and then I moved in with a friend in Crowthorne...a decision in hindsight that I regret greatly.
After falling on hard times, and crawling into the bottom of a bottle for a while, I slowly recovered and set about restoring my life. Unfortunately, this resulted in dwelling in a variety of shared properties for the past four years. Without any doubt, the best of these situations was Josie's flat, but it really is time to recapture my independence once again.
Prior to the apartment in Cheltenham, I resided in a start-up home in a suburb of Bristol for two years, and immediately before that I enjoyed three fantastic years living in a small village just outside Bath, where many memorable times were spent in my split-level studio apartment along The Batch (pictured).
One special lady provided me with plenty of fun, headaches and heartaches (in equal measure), although the overwhelming feeling was one of happiness over the precious moments we shared, and she'll forever remain close to my heart as she knows I'll always love her to bits...I'll always adhere to the principle that gentlemen don't 'kiss-and-tell', so I'll not name names but she knows who she is! ♥
Getting my own place again has been in the back of my mind for quite a well, but the practicalities and financial implications always prevented it from being a realistic option. However, I now feel that although the money is going to be tight, I can be resourceful enough to cope, and I can cut my cloth accordingly.
It will just be great to have my own front door, my own bathroom, my own kitchen, and my own living space once again, although I must stress that I'm not looking to remain alone forever...some loving companionship would be very welcome I can assure you!
Between now and then, it will be a case of notifying a few letting agencies to get the ball rolling. Although for the next month I have other priorities, I fully expect to be saving hard between the end of July and the start of October, so that I can be in a position to realistically start looking with serious intent. I think for the spare income at my disposal, I should be able to secure a small one-bedroomed apartment relatively central to the town centre, although I'll also consider moving slightly west if neccesary to somewhere like Fishbourne or Emsworth maybe?
If anyone is looking for a reliable tenant, then I'm yer man! Contact me now!
stevemuskett@yahoo.com (07968 029074)
It's quite exciting to be thinking of getting my own place once again after all of these years, and it reminds me of when I had to start over after finally moving away from my home town 14 years ago. This was after a failed long-term relationship, the severance of a mortgage, and the loss of my car, meaning that I had to learn to try to live within my limited budget on my own for the very first time. But I did it, and I enjoyed some wonderful times living in various flats in Langley and Slough for five years, until I was in a position to move on to pastures new...I wonder if our paths ever did cross without either one of us ever actually realising it, Nicky? Maybe in a bar in Windsor, or maybe late one night in 'Harry's'?! Lol.
Once I left Berkshire due to the relocation of my work, my 'Ramblin' Man!' days really began, as my residences became very short-term wherever I went thereafter, right up to the present day.
Maybe now that has all changed, and maybe now I'm finally ready to put down some roots...?
Time will tell, although I'll sign off with my mantra concerning 'time' and 'life':
"Life is a waste of time; Time is a waste of life;
Get wasted all the time and you'll have the time of your life!"
Cheers!
Ramblin' Steve
When my good friend, Elona encouraged me to return to writing a few years ago, I wrote a whole series of blogs under the generic title, 'A Spiritual Journey To Find A Home' (please see the link below), which described my ongoing and continual search to find a place where I could finally settle down.
http://aspiritualjourneytofindahome.blogspot.com/
The whole essence of these blogs was that I just couldn't stay anywhere for long...three years appeared to be my maximum tenure anywhere. Well, although I'll never write anything off and I'll always accept that anything could happen in the future to make me consider my options, I do feel very comfortable living and working in Chichester, but it's just that I need my own space again.
"Home is where the heart lies, but if the heart lies where is home...?"
For the past 20 months I have been happily sharing a flat with the lovely Josie & Glen, but last night after much soul-searching I informed them that I would finally be moving on in a few months time. As previously mentioned, my New Zealand holiday plans for October have not come to fruition, so my alternative is to use those two weeks to secure a new home, and move into my own brand new place!
Once again...I'm sorry for letting you down, TWL♥
The last time I actually lived in my own place was December 2008, when I failed to renew my tenancy agreement on a luxury apartment that I was renting in Cheltenham, and then I moved in with a friend in Crowthorne...a decision in hindsight that I regret greatly.
After falling on hard times, and crawling into the bottom of a bottle for a while, I slowly recovered and set about restoring my life. Unfortunately, this resulted in dwelling in a variety of shared properties for the past four years. Without any doubt, the best of these situations was Josie's flat, but it really is time to recapture my independence once again.
Prior to the apartment in Cheltenham, I resided in a start-up home in a suburb of Bristol for two years, and immediately before that I enjoyed three fantastic years living in a small village just outside Bath, where many memorable times were spent in my split-level studio apartment along The Batch (pictured).
One special lady provided me with plenty of fun, headaches and heartaches (in equal measure), although the overwhelming feeling was one of happiness over the precious moments we shared, and she'll forever remain close to my heart as she knows I'll always love her to bits...I'll always adhere to the principle that gentlemen don't 'kiss-and-tell', so I'll not name names but she knows who she is! ♥
Getting my own place again has been in the back of my mind for quite a well, but the practicalities and financial implications always prevented it from being a realistic option. However, I now feel that although the money is going to be tight, I can be resourceful enough to cope, and I can cut my cloth accordingly.
It will just be great to have my own front door, my own bathroom, my own kitchen, and my own living space once again, although I must stress that I'm not looking to remain alone forever...some loving companionship would be very welcome I can assure you!
Between now and then, it will be a case of notifying a few letting agencies to get the ball rolling. Although for the next month I have other priorities, I fully expect to be saving hard between the end of July and the start of October, so that I can be in a position to realistically start looking with serious intent. I think for the spare income at my disposal, I should be able to secure a small one-bedroomed apartment relatively central to the town centre, although I'll also consider moving slightly west if neccesary to somewhere like Fishbourne or Emsworth maybe?
If anyone is looking for a reliable tenant, then I'm yer man! Contact me now!
stevemuskett@yahoo.com (07968 029074)
It's quite exciting to be thinking of getting my own place once again after all of these years, and it reminds me of when I had to start over after finally moving away from my home town 14 years ago. This was after a failed long-term relationship, the severance of a mortgage, and the loss of my car, meaning that I had to learn to try to live within my limited budget on my own for the very first time. But I did it, and I enjoyed some wonderful times living in various flats in Langley and Slough for five years, until I was in a position to move on to pastures new...I wonder if our paths ever did cross without either one of us ever actually realising it, Nicky? Maybe in a bar in Windsor, or maybe late one night in 'Harry's'?! Lol.
Once I left Berkshire due to the relocation of my work, my 'Ramblin' Man!' days really began, as my residences became very short-term wherever I went thereafter, right up to the present day.
Maybe now that has all changed, and maybe now I'm finally ready to put down some roots...?
Time will tell, although I'll sign off with my mantra concerning 'time' and 'life':
"Life is a waste of time; Time is a waste of life;
Get wasted all the time and you'll have the time of your life!"
Cheers!
Ramblin' Steve
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)